Different Ways of Being Happy...

Have you taken the time to think about it?

My friend, Andy Squyres, wrote this recently:

If you were my kid I would tell you not to go to ministry school. I would say “If you do decide to go to ministry school, go for six months not three years.” If you were my kid I would say, “Don’t go to ministry school. Go to trade school.” Learning a trade is a noble and meaningful way to provide for yourself. Apprentice yourself to a journeyman electrician or plumber. Get your HVAC repair certification. Learn to frame houses. Go to mechanics school. Hell, I’m no fan of computers but maybe consider learning to code. Don’t go to Bible college. That youth ministry degree will eventually be something you regret. Please don’t hear me being cynical. I love studying the Bible. I endorse the pursuit of being trained to do ministry. I think that some should pursue their vocation in biblical scholarship. But to most young people I would say first address the practical needs of your life. Give yourself the ability to earn an income by developing an actual skill. If you were my kid I would tell you “Don’t go to college without seriously considering the return on investment of your chosen degree.” Take a hard look at the potential earning power of a Communications degree. Think hard about the debt load that you would take on. Working as a barista is a good and worthy thing to do but it is way more difficult when you’re trying to pay back all that money you gave your state university so that you could eke out a degree in Psychology. Your financial well being is important. Sometimes in Evangelical church culture we tell young people that the most meaningful thing you can do with your life is to serve the Lord in ministry and I want you to know that that is not true. Being able to take care of yourself and your family through the work of your hands is a blessed pursuit. I concede that some people actually do have a vocational call to be in ministry. But I know many pastors and worship leaders with legitimate callings on their lives who must be bi-vocational because of the financial limitations of the ministries they’re serving. Get a skill. Go to work. Stay out of debt. Love the Lord. Love your wife or your husband. Maybe have some kids. Praise the Lord.

Then another friend, Adam Russell, commented in the thread:

“Here’s a very real conversation I’ve had multiple times: 34 YO guy, two kids, lovely wife…spent his twenties and early thirties in ministry school contexts and wakes up one morning realizing he has no real job skills and has very real financial needs. The regrets are real. This is fine pastoral work, Andy!”

I think Andy is wise. And I’ve had the same conversations that Adam details above. I myself have been around and even a part of parachurch organizations and local churches that create mechanisms that often well-meaningly tie up young adults up for a couple years, which, often, can delay their launch into life. Often, they’re asked to do it for free. And sometimes, they even have to pay for it. Certain scriptures come to mind (“A workman is worthy of his hire,” and, “Don’t muzzle the ox while it’s treading out the grain”) that would seriously make me consider changing any such model were I overseeing it.

In his post, Andy graciously makes concessions. Some will do ministry schools, which, in targeted cases can be very helpful. But they shouldn’t get stuck longterm. 6 months. Not 3 years. And, for the love of God, please make sure you’re acquiring actual employable skills along the way.

Still, he highlights a point: “Sometimes in Evangelical church culture we tell young people that the most meaningful thing you can do with your life is to serve the Lord in ministry and I want you to know that that is not true.”

I’d like to take this conversation one compass click further in just a slightly different direction. I want to say this: it would be helpful if you could have three or four different ways that you can see yourself being happy in life. Fulfilled. Vocationally satisfied. Not trapped. Not stuck. Not saddled with sadness because your life has become unnecessarily narrowed and overly níched.

It’s a tricky little dance I’m describing. “You’ve gotta be all in,” the mantra goes. “Burn all the ships,” they say. “Put the blinders on, baby, and lock it in.” I understand the sentiment, and I like being someone that’s ultra-focused on what I’m doing in any given stretch of my life, but I actually think these competitive-sports-driven slogan-y shibboleths can create niggling little neuroses around the work we do.

Let me give an example from my own life to explain what I’m getting at.

I’m a pastor. I’ve been at New Life Church in Colorado Springs for 20 years. I lead a congregation and get to preach about 40 weekends a year. I love walking with people, and I love working with words, which makes it easy to love my work because it has me living at the intersection of People and Words. Most days I drive home thanking God. “I can’t believe I get to do this.” But there are also those times when the work gets overwhelming and my soul gets exhausted.

In one such stretch this last year, I got a call from a friend. She wanted to offer me a job that would keep me living at the intersection of People and Words, only this time the emphasis would be on Words that would end up helping People. It was a remote writing job. “What if we could pay you what you make right now? You could just stay home and write.” I thought about it for 4 seconds, wistfully imagining the disappearance of the difficult parts of my job, and then thanked her before telling her I am really happy.

I have no desire to change what I’m doing. But something about that call helped me know that there are at least a few different ways I could see myself being fulfilled in the vocational domain. There are seminaries that need professors. There are Bible apps that need writers. There are books that are in me to write. Schools need teachers and administrators. There are companies that need executive development tracks laid down for their senior leaders to run on. Maybe there’s a break waiting for me in the world of sports commentary? Or is this perhaps the time to run at that dream of stand up comedy that’s been tucked waaaaaaay back in the recesses of my soul? All of these jobs would have tradeoffs, pros and cons, and maybe some of them would be less gratifying than others, but all of these ways of working in the world would keep me living at the intersection of People and Words.

And, to Andy Squyres’ point in the post that I quoted above, sometimes it’s just enough to know that you have employable skills that can keep you moving and put some food on the table.

Here’s what I’m trying to get at: it is psychologically stabilizing for any human to know that life is not limited to one skinny sliver of opportunity. Our ancestors give testimony to the fact that life shifts, the world changes, wars break out, human migration happens, economies rise and fall, and still, we are wildly resilient to stick the landing on a beautiful life. We are creatures made with the creative capacity to construct meaningful lives with whatever materials we’re working with.

You’ll sleep better over the years if you’ll take some time to think through all the different ways that you could see yourself being happy. And then get up the next morning and go live the life that’s right in front of you.